How to Be Confident?

How to Be Confident?
Combined 3M
In the daily slang, confident that we mean self-confidence. Everyone really had a problem with this one term. There were people who felt he had lost his sense of confidence in almost all areas of his life. Problems may be related to the crisis itself, depression, loss of control, feeling helpless at the side of a bright future, and others. There are also people who feel not confident with what he was doing or with what practiced. There are also people who feel less confident when facing certain situations or circumstances. Based on the practice of life, we can say that the latter is normal in the sense that experienced by all humans.
Actually, what we mean by the term that confident? If you look at the scientific literature, there are some terms related to this issue pls. Here I just want to mention just four:
 Self-concept: how do you conclude yourself as a whole, how do you see your self-portrait as a whole, how you yourself mengkonsepsikan as a whole.
 Self-esteem: how far you have positive feelings about yourself, how far you've got something that you feel is valuable or worthy than yourself, to what extent you believe that something of value, dignity or self worth in your
 Self-efficacy: the extent to which you have confidence in your own capacity to be able to perform tasks or deal with good results (to succeed). This is called a general self-efficacy. Or also, as far as you believe you are in the field of capacity in handling your particular business. This is called the specific self-efficacy.
 Self-confidence: how far you have belief in your assessment of your ability and how far you can feel the "appropriateness" to succeed. Self confidence is a combination of self-esteem and self-efficacy (James Neill, 2005)
Based on that, we also can make such a conclusion that self-confidence is the effect of how we feel (M1), believes (M2), and knowing (M3). People who have low confidence or have lost confidence in negative feelings toward him, have faith in the ability of his weak and have less accurate knowledge of the capacity they have. When this is associated with the practice of everyday life, people who have low confidence or have lost their faith, tend to feel / behave as follows:
 Does not have something (desires, goals, targets) who fought in earnest
Have decisions  Not a decissive step (floating)
 Easily frustrated or give up when facing problems or difficulties
 Less motivated to get ahead, lazy or half-half
 often fail in perfecting the duties or responsibilities (not optimal)
 awkward in dealing with people
 You can not demonstrate the ability of speaking and listening skills to convince
 Often have unrealistic expectations
 Too perfectionist
 Too sensitive (sensitive)
In contrast, the great confidence, they have positive feelings toward him, had a strong conviction on him and have accurate knowledge of the capabilities of the. People who have good self confidence is not the only person who feels capable (but really can not afford) but is a person who knows that he can based on experience and calculation.
Various studies and experience have explained that a person's self confidence associated with the two most fundamental things in our life practice. First, the confidence associated with how a person fighting for his desire to achieve something (achievement or performance). It's like Mark Twin said: "What do you need to achieve is to have a full commitment and confidence. "
Second, the confidence associated with a person's ability in dealing with problems that hinder the struggle. People who trust his good will tend to conclude that he was "bigger" than the problem. Conversely, people who have low self-esteem will tend to conclude that the problem is much bigger than himself. Recognized this as Mohammad Ali. "The only thing that makes people run away from the challenge is the weakness of self-confidence."
Conclusion Bandura (Dr. Albert Bandura, 1994), explained that self-efficacy had a great big contribution to the motivation of a person. These include among others: how one merumukan goals or targets for itself, the extent to which people struggle for that goal, how strong it was able to overcome those problems, and as tough as what men could face failure.
Not only Bandura such a conclusion. Education experts have pitched the same conclusion. Self-efficacy would be a good one critical success (students) in carrying out their duties. They better have the mental readiness to learn, more had a strong incentive to work harder, more resilient in overcoming adversity and better able to reach the level of higher performance (Pajares & SCHUNK, The Development of Achievement Motivation, San Diego: Academic Press, 2002. ).

Negative sides
Normally it can be said that all people want to have a high confidence or strong. This is for example related to the two things we've discussed in advance. There is only one thing we need to watch out that there are some negative sides behind the high confidence that. Negative sides of this we need to manage so as not to produce proportional attitudes and behaviors that harm or damage. Among the negative side are:
 Arrogance. We put other people down (looking down or humiliate) for being higher or above. Such arrogance is rejected by all the values in this world. Justified we feel more than others but the important thing here is not until we look down on others, let alone to insult both in words and deeds.
 Feeling self-righteous and can not accept other people's truths. Sometimes there are reasons to feel right but we need to watch out for is the emergence of the true feelings that make us conclude all the wrong people. Even if we are right but if we felt that everyone else is wrong, it can make us wrong.
 Reject the opinions of others / unable to hear other people's opinions, suggestions of others, do not want to take lessons from the experiences of others or stubborn (stubbornness). Opinions of others is not all we need to listen but not everything needs to be rejected. There are positive things that we can take the opinions of others. It is said, one factor that makes the business collapsed after the triumph is for refusing to listen to opinions of others, refusing to learn from others, being flexible to change. They become covered with glory during this experience.
 Having a model of aggressive communication, authoritarian-style force, or without empathy. Communication model that often lead to poor quality of the relationship "Sincere", as well as invite more conflict, opposition or resistance. Instinctively, someone else will be more comfortable when approached with a model of empathic communication, assertiveness, or persuasive.
 Lack of calculation of the potential hazards or lack of attention to things that detail. Stand up to the challenge, have high confidence in the ability to overcome problems or to think "beyond the technique" is indeed a positive and necessary. But if it makes us accustomed to trivialize, underestimate or Careless, reckless, and similar, of course dangerous.
 Lack of capacity to trust other people or too perfectionist in judging others. Not easy to trust other people talk or do not easily trust other people an explanation for its ability before any evidence is real, this is needed. There are times when we can not 100% trust other people. But it would be a problem if we can not trust anyone else for all things, can not delegate to others for all the work, always underestimate, always wanted to be a "police" on others, and similar, this could distress yourself.
 Have the self-assessment "over", fixing the remuneration is too high, demanding to be treated too idealistic. Legitimate self-assessment we have a once sky-high, set the "price" as high, but if it makes our lives narrow, then we need to create an alternative thinking and learn to be flexible. Do not let us break our fault too hard. Do not let all that we can not distinguish between knowing yourself and do not know themselves in practice. The difference is very thin.
Negative sides that I mentioned above we might call the term "too confident". This is also different from the confident. According to the rules which apply in the practice of life, something that was so, it is usually considered bad and ugly.
Build Confidence

For some of us who have issues around low self-esteem or feel has lost confidence, maybe you can make the following steps as the process of exercise:
1. Creating a positive self-definition.
Steve Chandler says, "The best way to change your belief system is to change the definition of yourself." How menciptkan positive self definition. Among the ways that we can do is:
o Create a positive conclusion about yourself / create a positive opinion about yourself. Positive here means that can encourage or who can build, not a destructive or destructive.
o Learning to see the positive parts / extra / power we have
o Open a dialogue with yourself about the positive things we can do, from the smallest and from the start that we can do today.
In addition, you need to do is to stop negative self-opinion that emerged, such as I do not have anything extra, my life is not worth it, I only burden on the community, and so on. After we stop, our task is to replace it with a positive, constructive and motivatif. This requirement is only the beginning and not enough to build confidence.
2. Fight for a positive desire
Next is to formulate programs / self-improvement agenda. This might look like has a new target that we wish to achieve or formulate positive steps we want to do. Whether it's big or small, the point should be no change or improvement to a more positive direction. The more positive things (targets, goals or desires) that we can achieve, the more confident we are stronger. We need to remember that in the end we will only become better by doing something good for us. Period. No one can change this principle.
3. Troubleshooting positively
Pede also be strengthened by providing proof to ourselves that we had managed to overcome the problems that afflict us. The more problems we could solve, the more stronger pede. Over time we become people who are not easily insecure when facing problems. Because there is a reminder that, once we've used to using tactics resignation or lose, this will be a habit that makes us often problematic.
4. Base has a positive decision.
If we read from the practice of life as a whole, there is no one who is always confident of his ability in dealing with problems or in creating desire. Class people who have had Mahatma Gandhi shaky when suddenly changing reality unexpected. But, Gandhi had a way that we can imitate: "When I was desperate so I always remember that throughout history, the way of truth and love always wins. There are several tyranny and murder of a quick win but finally seemed to lose. Think I'm saying this, ALWAYS ". That is, trust Gandhi grow again after remembering that his pace was based on the principles of right.
5. Have a model / example of the positive
What matters more is to find someone else who can we trust the example of him. This indeed requires us to often opened my eyes to see others who are better than us and make it as a lesson. So the importance of the role of these other people, some say that we can improve ourselves of two things: a) personal experience (experiencing life) and b) duplicating (copying and studying other people). Prove it! Good luck.
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